“The harm we received as children often sets us up for continued harm as adults. If, as children, we had to deny our true thoughts and feelings to be safe, as adults we are likely to continue to deny what’s true for us. Telling the truth feels very unsafe, a threat to survival. What a dilemma. Denying ourselves feels safer, but it obscures our sense of who we are.”

I’ve spent many years wondering why I have trouble with the truth. I’m not a liar, but I’ve had a tough time being honest with myself and others. A tough time identifying what I need and having the courage to say it. I do it with big things and little things. I say yes to a great many things I really don’t want – agreements at work, in relationships, with friends. And that creates so much angst and internal tension because now I’ve agreed to do a thing I don’t want to do but am going along with it because I said yes. And it’s been true my whole life: saying what I need, being honest with someone about how I feel, feels extremely unsafe. A threat to my survival.

The good news: I’m learning to listen to myself. I’m finding the courage to say what I need. In big things and small things. It’s scary as hell. And people in my life who are used to doormat me are not loving the new vibe. But that’s on them. Here’s to me. And honoring what I need and how I really feel and saying so.

Quote from Anne Katherine’s book BOUNDARIES. I’ve been reading and sharing these pages each night this week on stories and this one in particular resonated with all of you.